So I’ve not been on here much lately and there is a good reason for that, I’m having a really hard time at the minute in and out of work. Everything is getting too much for me and I’m finding it really difficult to concentrate, be motivated and basically as I like to say “Gone into Self Destruct Mode”. I seem to be to put it nicely fucking everything up around me slowly and I don’t seem to care who I hurt in the process. I’m slowly turning into someone I don’t like and I’m not sure how to deal with it, some people have told me to go to the doctors but that even sounds like too much hard work. I seem to be wanting to suffer in silence at the minute and no matter what anyone says I’m just not listening, well I am but not taking any action or listening to what they say!
It seems that if I hear something it sends me off when I’m feeling calm into some kind of rage where I just moan, become tense and unhappy again! It’s never happened before.
I’m slowly turning into someone that I don’t know, I don’t like and I don’t want to be!
I’ve recently left work for nearly two weeks, 1 week working from home and 1 week annual leave. I can already see a difference in myself and no longer feeling like I’m someone I’m not! My old self is coming back out and people around me can also see it. I really have no idea what to do in this situation or to rectify it!